Sunday, January 17, 2010

Week Two

Event:  Went to a CD Release Party

After last week's semi-successful phone number exchange with Adam, I thought last night would likely be one of those fun nights with lots of flirting but no real connections.  Because let's face it, I think I've been asked for my phone number by a guy in a bar maybe 3 times. In my entire life. 

But boy was I wrong! 

When we arrived at the CD Release Party I was thrilled to see the bar was packed with people our age - especially what appears to be - lots of single guys.  So we find our friends, park it at a table and away we go.  Throughout the show, I kept making eye contact with this guy in a ball cap.  He was super cute and was playing hard to get.  Or wait.  Maybe he was ignoring me.  Either way, I was in cougar attack mode and it didn't matter.  Encouraged by my friends, I made my way over to where he was, (he was standing with another couple).  Let me state for the record I suck at this part.  I get nervous.  I clam up.  I make stupid comments all in an attempt to make conversation.  I might as well snort, push my glasses over my nose held together by duct tape and walk away with toilet paper on my shoe.  It's literally that bad.  But at least I try.

So I make it to the bar, get a beer and sort of stand near him.  I try to make a comment about the band in his general direction and he says nothing - but the girl he and his buddy are with responds and she and I have a terribly uncomfortable conversation about the band.  At one point I look past her and I ask him a direct question, which he answers and finally sticks out his hand.  "Hi, my name is Brad."  TOUCHDOWN!  But then he turns and starts talking to his buddy.  Shoot.  Quickly I realized I was awkwardly standing in their circle, but no one was talking to me.  Brilliantly, I say, "Oh I hope you don't think I'm trying to crash your conversation, I'm just waiting for a friend."  I'm an iditot!  What am I doing?  I then say, (as if they care) "Well, you guys have a good night" and as I turned away, I laughed at myself and...snorted.  Perfect.

Thinking I'm in stealth 'playing hard to get' mode, I make it back to my table, high five the girls and we wait.  Brad never comes over.  But wouldn't you know it, about an hour later the married girl he was with comes up to the table and says, "Can I hang out with you guys?  The boys are boring."  I'm like, "What?"  Interestingly, a while later here come Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum.  Brad finally makes an attempt to talk to me and that's when the other two decide it's time to leave.  They then invite me to go across town with them (uh, no) and Brad apologizes for talking so long to talk to me.  He then....(drum roll) asks for my number!  I'm like "where have you been all night?  You blew it!"  He shrugged his shoulders, we exchanged numbers and he left.

At about that time, a new threesome of guys walked up to our table and said hello.  I was on a roll at this point, so I started to talk to one of them.  His name is Dan, he's about my age, super cute and...oh wait...he's slurring his speech.  Great.  Holding onto the table for dear life, Dan tells me about how he's been laid off 4 times, lives at home with his parents, might have a drinking problem, has been a smoker since he was 12 and had a crazy night where he ended up in a Los Angeles jail.  I was like, "Dan stop talking!"  He then leaned over and while he was attempting to ask me to dinner, he accidentally spit out his gum...into my hair!  Luckily it didn't stick, continued to fall, bounced off my knee and fell to the floor.  Dan swiftly picked it up and stuck it under the table.  Welcome to 4th grade Dan.  Here's a napkin.

A few minutes later Rico Suave Dan spilled MY beer all over the table.  A thousand napkins later, we cleaned up the mess, grabbed our purses and Dan asked for my number.

One night.  Two numbers.  And the odds stacked 30,000 to 1 on who will call.


  1. ok... well i was laughing out loud when i read this!!! i'll be coming back here for more stories!

  2. omg, i about pissed my pants

  3. favorite quote from this entry "cougar attack mode"

  4. Oh my goodness...I can't stop laughing at how crazy awful that second guy was!